Dungeons N Dragons

At some point in our lives we’ve all had those experiences where we have received a text from the wrong number.  Usually we just say, “sorry wrong number” or maybe you’re feeling a bit extra and decide to play into to the text, impersonating the intended receiver.  Whatever the case, I usually stick with response #1.  That is until I was added to a dungeons n dragons group text… D&D for short 😉.  Don’t get me wrong, I told them I wasn’t the guy they thought I was… No one believed me.  I said I’m Annabelle not Conway, they all laughed and said Hi Annabelle but continued to address me as Conway minutes later.

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After they refused to let me be dungeon master and shot down my idea of building a character with lobster hands, I was bored and went MIA.  Unable to locate the remove self from conversation button, and not caring enough to research it out I simply stayed with my new group ignoring MOST of the messages… that is until they started talking about girls, ooooh snap.  I figured this is going to be some great ease dropping text revealing stuff of how guys approach women.  I started reading through and realized these guy were in the navy, what?! Navy nerds, heck yeah!

87 huh? Are these real girls you’re talking about pal or some level 12 cleric you found online?  Dude really thinks he’s getting lucky.  I give him approximately 45 seconds.  I keep envisioning a group of guys in their navy uniforms surrounding a D&D board making sexual flirtation comments with 87 women surrounding them slowly eating pizza, letting the cheese separate from the crust as the men oogle from the sidelines, and suddenly a full on live action role playing session ensues leading to the most epic pizza D&D orgy… think game of thrones, except the setting is in your moms basement and you’re all in your 30s with a glass popcorn bowl, everyone smells of stale cigarettes, febreeze, and spiked fruit punch.  Count me in.  Stay tuned folks.  -Love Conway

Author: thegoldenrocks

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

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