MAKE THE FAIR GREAT AGAIN

Since when did the fair become so slummish? I remember going when I was younger and it being similar to a ballgame experience. The smell of hotdogs, games being played, face painting, adults walking around holding their children’s hands with their khakis and fanny packs. Happiness in the air. I went to the fair this week. It’s one of those yearly experiences that I now dread. If I didn’t have children I wouldn’t go at all. The smell of cigarettes mixed with body odor and popcorn is on my top list of most hated smells. The carnival workers try to lure people in way more aggressively than your average mall salesman. Everyone walks slow as if they have been put in a trance by the illuminating attire selected by the townsfolk. The fair in the south is almost like a high school reunion, this is your moment to shine. It’s the time to wear brave eye shadow and break out the daisy dukes. The goal is to show up looking as if you are auditioning for a job as one of the carnival workers. I saw lots of belly buttons. Talked with people who had alcohol on their breath. Prison tattoos galore. Fair tip: wear all the jewelries, hairspray with starch ironing spray, all the makeup you own should be on your face and neck (this is very important), and lastly if your clothes fit then it’s too large… get in your daughters closet and find you something more fair appropriate 🤪

Best part of the fair is watching their faces during the ride 😂

I stood in 45 minute lines with kids who decided to show their rear ends since their parents weren’t around. Obviously human trafficking is no longer a concern for the parents around here, however the way those rotten kids were behaving I would place my money on the parents hoping someone would dare snatch them up. I’ve never in my life seen children yell out at elderly folks in such a manner that made me contemplate jail time for child abuse. I’m not sure my kids would behave any different if left unattended in a social environment among their friends, trying to impress the lot of them with their imaginary adult power but I would hope not. I have taught them well enough by example that our elderly move slower and hear harder, they require a immense amount of patience. I guess if they aren’t moving fast enough in a group of eager youth that permits them to yell out derogatory slurs as they push their way around them… never in my life.

Aside from all the late night carnival chaos, going during the day to visit the exhibits and food booths is quite pleasant. The crowd is much different. You have space to breath while the nightshifters are at home in dress rehearsal. I was able to visit with an old friend for a few minutes, bought some wizard wands from a booth under the grand stand, and picked up some fair food. The craft booths are my favorite! I love to study the pieces these people create and take notes on how it was done so I can go home and trial it myself. I always make sure to grab a business card too so that if my memory fails, I can look them up and study the details later.

Author: thegoldenrocks

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

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