Incarceration Status

Do you know how hard it is to convince someone you are not incarcerated after you accidentally told them you were? I do. In February I realized my pre requisites for the lpn to rn program were due to expire in the coming year. I made the choice to reapply to school and finish what I started before I lost it all. I don’t have the money to do this, one course cost me approximately $900-$1500 and that doesn’t include tuition. My single income household with 3 growing children cannot survive an expense like that. So I applied for financial aid. Two weeks ago I got the news that my prayers had been answered and financial aid would be provided!

I started making preparations for what is to come. I turned my resignation in for my beloved wound care position and requested to work the weekends. I enrolled in my courses, sought out the different options for my end result career, looked at pre med and clinical research options in case that is where I end up, and then I completed some final questions for my financial aid. Unbeknownst to me I made a small error that turned into a big problem! I plead insanity. I was in a pure state of delirium having worked the night shift before and misread a question that asked if I was currently incarcerated. I answered yes.

What the…

My financial aid came to an abrupt halt with red bleeding all over my beautiful white application. I tried to explain to the financial aid advisor that I was not in jail and that I thought the question asked “are you willing to go to jail?”… to which she wanted to know why I was willing to go to jail. Listen lady I’ll do whatever it takes at this point, don’t judge me.

After I repeatedly stated my claim to confinement was indeed false, I finally found a way to resolve my error. It will take some time and I had to pay out of pocket for this semester but it will be a memory for the books.

If I need to go to jail to finish school then so be it!

In the midst of all the confusion I said a prayer that God would help me be prepared for what is to come. Not even 5 minutes later my mom walks in my front door with a huge black duffel bag. She says it’s a 3 day survival kit for 5 people. She got it for me in case I ever have to make a quick get away. While I may have done a belly laugh, I have always fantasized about having to make a quick get away so I enjoyed it. Then I thought back to my prayer and did a double take at the heavens questioning what God has in store for this next adventure of mine. This story is to be continued…

My get away bag!

Emotional For Education

I know what you’re thinking ‘Tinman actually has a heart’. I’m not your typical crier. I didn’t know I could do that for the longest time. Growing up I thought, “well maybe I’m a psychopath because I don’t cry at funerals or when babies are born”. My oldest daughter told me once that I needed to sit in a quiet room with a lit candle and try to turn my emotions on… I think she was joking but maybe not. I’ve seen other nurses at the station after a code balling their eyes out, I feel it too girl but it’s not coming out of my eyes.

Today I cried a little, like in front of people. It was weird. I was only talking about education, how important it was and how learning from someone with wisdom is much better than learning by mistake. The more I explained it, I felt the wetness under my eyelids no matter how hard I tried to stare at the ceiling. A work pal started to cry just watching me cry… she must be an empath. My middle child is an empath.

I do have an emotional bond with education. I love learning, anything and everything. I didn’t have the privilege to attend high school. I worked hard to get into nursing school after I got my GED. I had failed my entrance exam into nursing school, studied harder and made it in, only to end up in a car accident during the final semester of school… I went to the school in my wheelchair and was told I couldn’t attend because I couldn’t complete my nursing responsibilities. Once I was able to walk again I had to start all over, entrance exam and all.

I cannot explain to you how much I cherish education. I study everyday. Not in school or for any sort of college credit, just for me and my patients. Come to think of it the last time I cried was watching a movie. It was called the boy who harnessed the wind. He wants to go to school so badly and his father can’t afford it so he sneaks into school everyday, sneaks in the library, he gets caught eventually and man oh man does my face end up flooded with tears every time! That movie is based on a true story. I think people often forget that education is mandatory in our country but in others it’s considered a privilege.

Today I was teaching about preventative skin care. I added some show and tell to the mix because that has always been my favorite way to learn.

Check out how that fake urine beads up and rolls off the skin!

I do this once a month and it always gets the “ooooow… awwwww” effect. It really clicks seeing the difference you can make. This is information provided for free! Learn from wisdom, from the experience of the people before you. We rely heavily on that in the medical field. I can describe nothing worse than learning by mistake in this field. It happens, sometimes you do the best you can, the best you know to do, and it’s still not enough. Later down the road you may learn the answer to that problem and wish you had that knowledge before. It will rip your heart string in half, sure you will learn, you’ll never forget that one time you should’ve done this instead of that. But when the information is there, when it’s provided to prevent those nightmares of “learning by mistake” take it!

By the way I didn’t cry while teaching. If that’s what you were thinking.

Mixing pleasure with work 😏

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I’m supposed to be learning about the different structures of the skeletal system.  While taking pictures of each piece of bone to study later at home I took the most epic photo of this Mandible.  I’ve always loved photography and now I want to go around taking beautiful pictures of every piece of bone in class!  Well I’ve got to go back to work, tally ho!

Do I have to go to school!

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I feel too old to be going back to school.  I sit next to a 16 year old in my A&P class at the community college.  SIXTEEN!!! Our high school here allows the kids to do a dual enrollment program which allows them to do their high school classes at college to receive credit for both.  While that’s an amazing opportunity and I wish they allowed that while I was in high school,  I feel like that chick in the movie Never Been Kissed. On a more positive note, my instructor is a hottie 😉.  As an adult I have a better understanding of time and I know that spending a small portion of my life doing this bridge program from LPN to RN could change how I spend the rest of my life.  So despite my internal protest, I have to go to school!  Tally ho!

Secret Hideout

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My Secret Hideout

Growing up on 100 acres of land I had this special spot. My siblings and I discovered what would become our playground, safe haven, and above all our secret hideout. While playing outside one afternoon, we invaded the woods that edged the top of a hill. The area overlooked about 20 acres, including our home and the road we lived off. There was a tree that had been struck by lightening, giving it this bent shape which was perfect for sitting. My brothers sat atop this tree as the lookouts and spy’s while I decided to clean our new “home” by gathering fallen leaves and branches. As I swept the leaves together with my hands I noticed something sparkle. I moved more leaves to get a closer look, it was GOLD!!! Or so I thought at the time, turns out I found glittery gravel that people used back in the day for driveways. I alerted the lookouts and we quickly became treasure hunters for the day, whipping off our socks to shove the best looking rocks into them and smuggle them home for safe keeping in our underwear drawer. This place quickly became our new favorite place that we titled The Golden Rocks. It’s been 20 years and I still find myself wanting to runaway to hide, be alone, and think at my secret hideout. I’m a 28 year old single mother of 3, working full time while going to school full time… who wouldn’t want to run away? Writing down my trials, feelings, and experiences seems to be the best escape I’ve discovered so far, I figured the best way to get feedback and give out advice would be to create a blog. So here I have it my online Golden Rocks 😄.