Harnessing positive energy

I did a weird thing this weekend. I’m not ashamed of either. It’s called grounding or maybe you know it as earthing. It’s supposed to give you a positive charge when you connect your bare skin to the earth, whatever the heck that means. I’ve taken on a new challenge to explore new things regularly. This entire weekend was filled with new things. I went ax throwing… and I’m absolutely terrible at it. However if there ever comes a time when this newly acquired skill from the Middle Ages is necessary, I could totally chop your feet off… or at least get you in the shin while I run away.

This morning I was trying to stick to this good energy grounding vibe I’ve been exploring and since I live less than 5 minutes from paradise I chose to take my early morning run there. The fun thing about this place is that you can spend an entire weekend here and there’s still more to come back and discover! I’ve lived here for over 20 years and I’m still finding new things every visit!

Found this cute bench in the woods!

At the end of my run I made my descend down to the great falls to calm the sweat before returning to my car. If you get here early enough in the morning you don’t have the fuss of the tourist to work around. I took my shoes off and inspected my feet for cuts before dipping them in the water, can never be to careful with all that necrotizing fasciitis floating around. I admit I should’ve read more on how this grounding stuff works before trying it but I’m not much for instructions. I made up half the crap I did, even added some chanting in there while I tried to connect with Pocahontas. She didn’t respond in case you’re wondering.

My dad was a big nerd for quantum physics and he would support this journey of mine one hundred percent. He used to tell me we transfer energy into everything we do whether it’s cooking, working, crafting… that energy does not disappear! My dad was a frickin genius too, I never had a need for google while he was alive! The things he taught me about energy have never left me either, perhaps that’s why I collect vintage items and have a passion for anything and everything old and broken.

Great Falls Cotten Mill

Looking at this gives my spine a tingle. I’m trying to imagine the people who worked here and the lives they lived. Wondering to myself how do I harvest its energy? Should I stick with this earthing routine and lay my bare hands on it or stare really hard or what?! My dad would know the answer to that question. For now I’ll just admire its hollowed out bones.

Terribly beautiful

I can tell you about the energy of this bridge. The energy is negative. It is harnessing built up anger and betrayal that was instilled in it the day my brother decided to push me off of it. The bridge will never forget what you did to me Joshua, energy does not disappear. I don’t care how beautiful this old decrepit bridge is, I know what it feels inside and it’s hideous. We will leave that energy where it sits and take a stroll to greater things until I learn more about energy healing, which is in fact a real thing.

Enter their darkness to bring them light

I want you to imagine that you’re at home with your kids. You’ve cooked them breakfast and are preparing to send them off to school. Your husband kisses you goodbye as he heads out to work and you load the kids in the car to take them to their studies. Your children engage you in conversation about the abandonment they feel is coming as you approach the school doors. You then console any worries they have by saying you’ll be returning after the last bell rings as you give them goodbye hugs and tell them to mind their manners. As the last child disappears into the school, you feel a freedom you hadn’t before. The day is yours to spend as you choose.

After doing a few chores at home you venture out to town, visiting the post office, library, and finally the market to grab some missing dinner ingredients. You’re in aisle 3 comparing the price vs lbs ratio on some pasta and out of the corner of your eye a lady in scrubs is approaching you holding a cup of pills. It’s odd. She calls you by name but you don’t recognize her. You look around and no longer recognize where you are and you can’t seem to find an exit. The lady in scrubs has a friendly affect and she knows your name so you confide in her, asking where you are and how to get home. You have children to tend to remember… you need to pick them up from school or they’ll be lost and abandoned just as they suspected they would be this morning when you dropped them off!

What you don’t remember that also happened this morning is that your children are now in their fifties, one of which even came to have breakfast with you, your husband has passed away and you’ve been living in a nursing facility for over 10 years. That friendly nurse has brought you a cup of pills to help manage the effects of Alzheimer’s although there is no cure. But that’s just it, you don’t remember these things. This morning you were 40 years younger and you can’t be convinced otherwise. Not with a mirror, not with photographs or videos. This stuff is all some sort of witchcraft to manipulate you. The government has taken you hostage. It’s mind control at its finest.

Approximately 10 years ago I was introduced to this disease while working at a skilled nurses facility. I watched an elderly woman roam the halls for hours searching for an exit, she wouldn’t eat lunch and when dinner came around I tried encouraging it to her and through her blood shot eyes and damp cheeks from the tears shed that day she said, ‘How can I eat when I know my children are out there hungry and waiting for me at home?’ She pleaded with me to help her find her way home. I remember going into the staff lounge that night and praying for peace for this woman.

The ones in the scrubs

Treat the people you do know suffering from this disease with understanding and patience. Enter their reality and do whatever it takes to ease their worries, ‘Billy called he’s staying at your moms tonight because there’s a storm coming, and the bus isn’t running right now so we are giving you a free nights stay here!’ The way you approach this situation could determine the rest of this persons day, make sure you approach it with a kind heart! And heed my warning when I say do NOT try to bring them into your reality, you will not win. This is a disease, their cognitive state has taken them to another time and telling them they cannot leave to go home is a declaration of war. You’ve just put their children’s lives in mortal danger, they will starve or be kidnapped on the way home from school. And if this is the approach you choose to take, be prepared for a fight. These elderly people may not look like they have much fight in them but put a threat like this on their kids lives and you’ll be in a battle for your own soon. That cortisol stress response will turn that frail old lady into a MMA fighter with the snap of a finger. Trust me, I’ve had the wind knocked right out of me… ‘Easy wasper, I’m just trying to love you!’

My inspiration for what I do!

I’ll have to credit my mom for the passion she has instilled in me to love and understand our elders. She was the Attending provider for NHC while I was growing up and often let me round with her. I was able to contract her contagious kindness and knowledge that she has for this disease process. There is nothing more humbling than working in this field. We’ve discovered effective coping strategies and distraction techniques but no cure to this day. So today hold your family closer, cherish the time you have with them and thank God for your cognitive well being. Because in 10 minutes you could be the one waking up in a different time, place, and without your loved ones.

Where my abs at tho?

I did 30 sit ups yesterday and yet my stomach still looks like a melted marshmallow. I can feel the work I’ve done but do I see it? Heck no. My sister is a health coach, she once helped me lose 82 lbs. She wanted to do before and after pics but I was too ashamed of the body that had become dwarfed by carrying 3 children. I wish I would have now. So I’ve decided to do before and after pics of my muscle toning! As you can see, there is NO muscle! If you push on my belly it goes from fat to bone. Oh joy. I’m pretty sure I just felt my spine in there somewhere.

I’ve lost approximately 25 lbs since May. The first thing I did was switch from drinking sodas to water only! It’s one step that will impact your entire weight loss journey to a healthier lifestyle. I don’t recommend diets, no drastic changes in eating habits. Not all at once anyways. This will cause relapse hard. I did this for about a week before I started the next step. Then I worked on having a healthier breakfast. I once heard that if you start your morning out with a healthier meal it will change the way you think the rest of the day! I believe that! I switched from no breakfast, or a quick donut/waffle.. ect, to a green juice, maybe some eggs or oatmeal, mainly FRUIT! I did this for about another week before cutting the fast food from my lunch and dinner routine. Instead I was eating salmon, salad, quinoa, ect. I was losing pounds left and right. My cravings that were screaming CODE RED! CODE RED! EMERGENCY! Had stopped all together! I got full on smaller portions, my clothes got baggy, and I feel more energized than I have in a long time! My mood is even better! It’s been 3 months since I decided to make a lifestyle change and now I’m working to tone up the mess I made.

I think we all expect to see change overnight when we make good decisions. We may not see it but man oh man will you feel it. A quote I posted to my LDS Quotes page this morning said, “First I Obey, Then I understand” Marjorie Hinkley said that. She was my favorite prophets wife! A little inspiration to continue onward without seeing the results. You will understand after you do the work!

Let’s buildnow man! Just kidding I have to work…

img_3215We finally got our first snow of the season and my kids got out of school.   They woke up to a beautiful winter wonderland, wanting to run out and make snow angels, build an igloo, construct a fort to have a full on Jack Frost war. However just because school was cancelled doesn’t mean work was, and being a single mom I had to take my kids to work with me.  Luckily I work somewhere that understands my situation with the girls… my boss is my momma and luckily I have extremely incredible kids who mind their manners.  They have a pretty good set up at the office, they have the kitchen with all the yummy snacks drug reps bring, the waiting room with a tv and playset and then they have 2 exam rooms we don’t use that they play doctor in.

Maleah and Hailee don’t play well together.  Feel free to offer any advice that would help them get along.   Neither of them fight with Kali.  Neither of them have feuds with anyone else, but when they get together every look, every breath, every movement becomes a declaration of war!  We were getting close to closing, there were 2 patients in the exam rooms and 1 in the waiting room, that’s when I heard Maleah  shriek.  I marched to the kitchen to see what the fuss was about and apparently Hailee was pushing her.  After interrogating Hailee she stated that she was just throwing trash away and Maleah was guarding the trash can… “Ok, hands to yourself girls”.  What’s really weird is that they love to play together, they CHOOSE to play with each other when they don’t have to.   After a few more nonsense bickering I decided to wear them out…. I know what you’re thinking, no I didn’t spank them (I only resort to that if I feel they harmed someone or were doing something to harm themselves).  I’m not completely against spanking but I’m not completely for it either.  I feel that my kids learn their lessons better when a lesson is actually taught instead of spanking a lesson into them which only works to a certain extent of them learning out of fear.  I feel that time out, and talking things out after they’ve cooled down works the best.  They understand the WHY is punishment.  Anyways, when I say I decided to wear them out I mean physically hahaha I told them that between patients we should go to the stairwell and jog up and down for fun.  As an adult that sounds like the opposite of fun but to a kid it was just their cup of tea and I figured they were starting to fight because they were board so why not wear them out 😋.

When the work day was finally over we went home, got in our pjs, made homemade popcorn, hot chocolate and watched movies based on true stories… we basically cried the entire night haha but they loved it.  This single mom thing, it works for us.  I love our girl time, I love having them at work, I love being able to do whatever I want to do when I get home, I love watching chick flicks… I love being single!  One day someone may come along that makes me feel at home with them, until then I’ll keep enjoying my time with my girls ☺️

Secret Hideout

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My Secret Hideout

Growing up on 100 acres of land I had this special spot. My siblings and I discovered what would become our playground, safe haven, and above all our secret hideout. While playing outside one afternoon, we invaded the woods that edged the top of a hill. The area overlooked about 20 acres, including our home and the road we lived off. There was a tree that had been struck by lightening, giving it this bent shape which was perfect for sitting. My brothers sat atop this tree as the lookouts and spy’s while I decided to clean our new “home” by gathering fallen leaves and branches. As I swept the leaves together with my hands I noticed something sparkle. I moved more leaves to get a closer look, it was GOLD!!! Or so I thought at the time, turns out I found glittery gravel that people used back in the day for driveways. I alerted the lookouts and we quickly became treasure hunters for the day, whipping off our socks to shove the best looking rocks into them and smuggle them home for safe keeping in our underwear drawer. This place quickly became our new favorite place that we titled The Golden Rocks. It’s been 20 years and I still find myself wanting to runaway to hide, be alone, and think at my secret hideout. I’m a 28 year old single mother of 3, working full time while going to school full time… who wouldn’t want to run away? Writing down my trials, feelings, and experiences seems to be the best escape I’ve discovered so far, I figured the best way to get feedback and give out advice would be to create a blog. So here I have it my online Golden Rocks 😄.