Read this in whispered distress

The ghost is not gone. She is haunting me. You know the ghost I mentioned in previous blogs that lies within myself. She RUNS from relationships. Physically RUNS. I tried to be brave. I tried to end it. I said the words. But here you are, as if I’m in heat, chasing me through the dang store. I liked to be chased. Not necessarily by someone I told not to chase me… Thank goodness I have a sister who will put on a show with me last minute as I call her in whispered distress. ‘I need you to stay on the phone with me… if I say the word sunflower, I want you act out a level 10 emergency and I will put on my best fake nurse performance and run to the car’. I shouldn’t of chose today to claim my free kind bar with my coupon… gluttony got the best of me. I won’t make that mistake again.

Code word for code red

I did a bad thing. I played hot and cold with you. It’s a little game people play when they aren’t too interested in you but they give you attention here and there to string you along in case they get bored… I shouldn’t have done that. I know that now. I tried to correct it by being blunt and telling you how I felt. Yet here you are still pawing at the hem of my skirt as if I never left. Why? Word of advice, if the faucet is running hot and cold, SHUT. IT. OFF. Do not entertain someone who is playing games with you. This is your life, not a game. If they are entertaining multiple people SHUT. IT. OFF.

Why did I need this?

You don’t have to be rude about it, just politely decline anymore advances and show yourself some respect. Women are attracted to people who love themselves, respect themselves, have values and standards. When you pursue someone who has made it clear they aren’t interested in you, then you are giving them permission to use and lose you. Don’t be that person. I’m sorry I was that person to you, I’m still growing myself and will heed my own advice.

That ghost came to protect me from things like this. She has seen this before and knows EXACTLY how this goes. So she helps me disappear before the crazy comes to get me. I attract crazy… or maybe I create it? They don’t start out that way. But they end that way. It’s a mystery to me but for right now I’ll let my sympathetic nervous system take over. My heart is currently trying to escape to walls that enclose it as I run frantically through the market like an animated cartoon character with James Bond moves. Weaving in and out of aisles, and hiding behind cereal boxes.

Harnessing positive energy

I did a weird thing this weekend. I’m not ashamed of either. It’s called grounding or maybe you know it as earthing. It’s supposed to give you a positive charge when you connect your bare skin to the earth, whatever the heck that means. I’ve taken on a new challenge to explore new things regularly. This entire weekend was filled with new things. I went ax throwing… and I’m absolutely terrible at it. However if there ever comes a time when this newly acquired skill from the Middle Ages is necessary, I could totally chop your feet off… or at least get you in the shin while I run away.

This morning I was trying to stick to this good energy grounding vibe I’ve been exploring and since I live less than 5 minutes from paradise I chose to take my early morning run there. The fun thing about this place is that you can spend an entire weekend here and there’s still more to come back and discover! I’ve lived here for over 20 years and I’m still finding new things every visit!

Found this cute bench in the woods!

At the end of my run I made my descend down to the great falls to calm the sweat before returning to my car. If you get here early enough in the morning you don’t have the fuss of the tourist to work around. I took my shoes off and inspected my feet for cuts before dipping them in the water, can never be to careful with all that necrotizing fasciitis floating around. I admit I should’ve read more on how this grounding stuff works before trying it but I’m not much for instructions. I made up half the crap I did, even added some chanting in there while I tried to connect with Pocahontas. She didn’t respond in case you’re wondering.

My dad was a big nerd for quantum physics and he would support this journey of mine one hundred percent. He used to tell me we transfer energy into everything we do whether it’s cooking, working, crafting… that energy does not disappear! My dad was a frickin genius too, I never had a need for google while he was alive! The things he taught me about energy have never left me either, perhaps that’s why I collect vintage items and have a passion for anything and everything old and broken.

Great Falls Cotten Mill

Looking at this gives my spine a tingle. I’m trying to imagine the people who worked here and the lives they lived. Wondering to myself how do I harvest its energy? Should I stick with this earthing routine and lay my bare hands on it or stare really hard or what?! My dad would know the answer to that question. For now I’ll just admire its hollowed out bones.

Terribly beautiful

I can tell you about the energy of this bridge. The energy is negative. It is harnessing built up anger and betrayal that was instilled in it the day my brother decided to push me off of it. The bridge will never forget what you did to me Joshua, energy does not disappear. I don’t care how beautiful this old decrepit bridge is, I know what it feels inside and it’s hideous. We will leave that energy where it sits and take a stroll to greater things until I learn more about energy healing, which is in fact a real thing.

Behavior Modification

You know that old saying, “People don’t change”? Well that’s incorrect. Before posting those memes or quotes do yourself a favor and fact check them. Who said that? Were their words evidence based? What credentials does the person posting hold?

I testify that change is possible. The relationships you have can be mended, whether with your children, spouse, coworkers, friends, change is possible. You also have that extra tid bit added onto the saying, “people only change if they want to”… hmmm. That’s part of it but it’s only a half truth. People can change with a nudge in the right direction, encouragement, support, advice, and most of all RESPONSE!

One of my very favorite movies is War Room. If you haven’t seen it, add it to your watchlist! The story line is based on a married couple who are in the thick of it, constantly bickering, forgetting why they ever got married in the first place. An older woman comes into play to counsel the wife on how to create change in her relationship. The thing that happens here is that the counsel given to the wife was to change her own behavior. She had to change the way she acted and responded, she changed her life and worked on herself before her husbands behavior followed. And if it had played out another way she could’ve just left high and dry with her new found self. I think this is very wise information. No it doesn’t work every time, but it’s the best fighting chance for that change to happen.

Find it, watch it, live it.

If we have people in our lives that have continued behavior that effect our own lives, our response to that can change everything. I once went through a behavior modification course to work with people suffering from developmental disabilities. We were taught how to modify their behavior because most came from rough situations and displayed negative responses to situations, such as self mutilation when they felt they had done something wrong. The system for correction was categorized by cognitive function. I took this information home with me and practiced it on my own kids. It worked! It included praise, correction, consequence, and a way to respond to the situation in the future.

I feel like we too often forget our children are still learning, they need to know how to respond to future situations they are disciplined for. Instead of doing this do that! The way we respond to behavior displayed can change EVERYTHING!

It also works for behavior we want to see more often too! I remember being a young girl and having to do chores, one night I wiped the kitchen table off. I wasn’t expecting it but my mom walked by and said, ‘You did a really good job cleaning off that table Annabelle!’… you better believe that for the next week I cleaned that table every night even if it wasn’t on my chore list because I was the best dang table cleaner in the house! Praise the behavior you want to see more often. Change the way you respond to negative behavior, provide correction and consequence when need, and give an alternative for future mishaps.

Where my abs at tho?

I did 30 sit ups yesterday and yet my stomach still looks like a melted marshmallow. I can feel the work I’ve done but do I see it? Heck no. My sister is a health coach, she once helped me lose 82 lbs. She wanted to do before and after pics but I was too ashamed of the body that had become dwarfed by carrying 3 children. I wish I would have now. So I’ve decided to do before and after pics of my muscle toning! As you can see, there is NO muscle! If you push on my belly it goes from fat to bone. Oh joy. I’m pretty sure I just felt my spine in there somewhere.

I’ve lost approximately 25 lbs since May. The first thing I did was switch from drinking sodas to water only! It’s one step that will impact your entire weight loss journey to a healthier lifestyle. I don’t recommend diets, no drastic changes in eating habits. Not all at once anyways. This will cause relapse hard. I did this for about a week before I started the next step. Then I worked on having a healthier breakfast. I once heard that if you start your morning out with a healthier meal it will change the way you think the rest of the day! I believe that! I switched from no breakfast, or a quick donut/waffle.. ect, to a green juice, maybe some eggs or oatmeal, mainly FRUIT! I did this for about another week before cutting the fast food from my lunch and dinner routine. Instead I was eating salmon, salad, quinoa, ect. I was losing pounds left and right. My cravings that were screaming CODE RED! CODE RED! EMERGENCY! Had stopped all together! I got full on smaller portions, my clothes got baggy, and I feel more energized than I have in a long time! My mood is even better! It’s been 3 months since I decided to make a lifestyle change and now I’m working to tone up the mess I made.

I think we all expect to see change overnight when we make good decisions. We may not see it but man oh man will you feel it. A quote I posted to my LDS Quotes page this morning said, “First I Obey, Then I understand” Marjorie Hinkley said that. She was my favorite prophets wife! A little inspiration to continue onward without seeing the results. You will understand after you do the work!

How to create you own adventures

Bored. Oh good lord, why the heck are you bored? There are so many things to do out there! People make excuses for not having adventure in their lives but that’s what they are excuses. Maybe you feel you work too much, don’t have extra time to go rock climbing or sit in an art class? I’ve heard it all.

I too have a full time job, I have 3 kids and responsibilities but I also find adventure throughout everyday. I work in a skilled nursing facility so I bet you’re thinking what kind of adventure lies there right? Well pal, you’re talking to a chick who challenged a elderly lady in a wheelchair to a race… and WON! I also had a fake wedding with a confused man who noticed I wasn’t wearing a wedding band and asked me to be his wife… the things I do to keep the peace. Last night I convinced my kids I was a real witch and had a ceremony initiating each of them into my coven. We’re the nightingale witches now, in case you’re wondering.

Adventure is all around you. Find it, create it, live it.

It’s Saturday morning, I’ve been up since my internal alarm clock went off at 5. I’ve already thought of the possibilities the day awaits, invited a friend to be hypnotized with me, woke my grumpy ex husband up so I could plan my day better, watched a ted talk and a clip from Debbi’s design diary, thought about going to the gym then put my yoga shorts on and thought… erhm maybe not. Whatever my plans are for the day you can bet I won’t be bored.

Tip #1 do something different. Stop trying to be that picture perfect southern girl who wears the monogrammed shirts with leggings and cowgirl boots. Yes, Karen with the big hair, I’m talking about you. No one cares what your initials are except stalkers and people from ancestry.com, is that really the crowd you’re trying to attract? Think about things you haven’t done before, new hiking routes, festivals, play games in your everyday life. I once had my kids all draw a name from a cup, whichever name they chose they got to pick the outfit for that person from goodwill under $10 and then they had to wear it while we went bowling. I was hoping they’d stuff me in a wedding gown similar to Miss Havisham’s from great expectations but what they chose was even better! Shoulder pads for days.

Tip #2 Be willing to leave your comfort zone. This one is tough. We’ve created a bubble where staying in and watching Netflix in our jammies, while eating slim Jim’s is the new norm. Come on folks, watching other people live their lives is no adventure. Get off the couch, dust that powdered sugar off your shirt and do something! I have an idea, go outside right now, grab the garden hose and spray your self in the face… did that wake you up? Pull you out of zombie mode? Cool. Now pull up your events page on Facebook. Click the this weekend button and choose something weird, something you wouldn’t normally do. Do it.

Tip #3 Enhance your social circle. Find friends that are extroverts and cling to them, these are the ones who will be down for anything spontaneous. Also, find friends who are introverts, these ones will have the cool ideas for what your doing next. Yes those quiet people who keep to themselves, they have the best personalities once you break down their wall and take them hostage as your friend (that’s pretty much the only way to establish friendship with them in my experience). Get you a Jew too. Jews are frickin awesome. Your social circle is going to be a big part in this adventure.

Tip #4 Have you a baby. Okay this one may not be for everyone, but man is that an adventure all on its own. If you can’t have kids or are waiting until a later time, get you a pet. Like a goat, goat yoga is a thing now. This creates a bond between another soul in this life that is unique. It’s unlike the friendships you share, this relationship will be one where you give everything you’ve got and not expect a thing in return. This is a humbling adventure, one where you’ll discover a different side of yourself that you didn’t know existed.

I’m off to my next adventure, take these words to heart and get out there to create your own!