Read this in whispered distress

The ghost is not gone. She is haunting me. You know the ghost I mentioned in previous blogs that lies within myself. She RUNS from relationships. Physically RUNS. I tried to be brave. I tried to end it. I said the words. But here you are, as if I’m in heat, chasing me through the dang store. I liked to be chased. Not necessarily by someone I told not to chase me… Thank goodness I have a sister who will put on a show with me last minute as I call her in whispered distress. ‘I need you to stay on the phone with me… if I say the word sunflower, I want you act out a level 10 emergency and I will put on my best fake nurse performance and run to the car’. I shouldn’t of chose today to claim my free kind bar with my coupon… gluttony got the best of me. I won’t make that mistake again.

Code word for code red

I did a bad thing. I played hot and cold with you. It’s a little game people play when they aren’t too interested in you but they give you attention here and there to string you along in case they get bored… I shouldn’t have done that. I know that now. I tried to correct it by being blunt and telling you how I felt. Yet here you are still pawing at the hem of my skirt as if I never left. Why? Word of advice, if the faucet is running hot and cold, SHUT. IT. OFF. Do not entertain someone who is playing games with you. This is your life, not a game. If they are entertaining multiple people SHUT. IT. OFF.

Why did I need this?

You don’t have to be rude about it, just politely decline anymore advances and show yourself some respect. Women are attracted to people who love themselves, respect themselves, have values and standards. When you pursue someone who has made it clear they aren’t interested in you, then you are giving them permission to use and lose you. Don’t be that person. I’m sorry I was that person to you, I’m still growing myself and will heed my own advice.

That ghost came to protect me from things like this. She has seen this before and knows EXACTLY how this goes. So she helps me disappear before the crazy comes to get me. I attract crazy… or maybe I create it? They don’t start out that way. But they end that way. It’s a mystery to me but for right now I’ll let my sympathetic nervous system take over. My heart is currently trying to escape to walls that enclose it as I run frantically through the market like an animated cartoon character with James Bond moves. Weaving in and out of aisles, and hiding behind cereal boxes.

How to create you own adventures

Bored. Oh good lord, why the heck are you bored? There are so many things to do out there! People make excuses for not having adventure in their lives but that’s what they are excuses. Maybe you feel you work too much, don’t have extra time to go rock climbing or sit in an art class? I’ve heard it all.

I too have a full time job, I have 3 kids and responsibilities but I also find adventure throughout everyday. I work in a skilled nursing facility so I bet you’re thinking what kind of adventure lies there right? Well pal, you’re talking to a chick who challenged a elderly lady in a wheelchair to a race… and WON! I also had a fake wedding with a confused man who noticed I wasn’t wearing a wedding band and asked me to be his wife… the things I do to keep the peace. Last night I convinced my kids I was a real witch and had a ceremony initiating each of them into my coven. We’re the nightingale witches now, in case you’re wondering.

Adventure is all around you. Find it, create it, live it.

It’s Saturday morning, I’ve been up since my internal alarm clock went off at 5. I’ve already thought of the possibilities the day awaits, invited a friend to be hypnotized with me, woke my grumpy ex husband up so I could plan my day better, watched a ted talk and a clip from Debbi’s design diary, thought about going to the gym then put my yoga shorts on and thought… erhm maybe not. Whatever my plans are for the day you can bet I won’t be bored.

Tip #1 do something different. Stop trying to be that picture perfect southern girl who wears the monogrammed shirts with leggings and cowgirl boots. Yes, Karen with the big hair, I’m talking about you. No one cares what your initials are except stalkers and people from ancestry.com, is that really the crowd you’re trying to attract? Think about things you haven’t done before, new hiking routes, festivals, play games in your everyday life. I once had my kids all draw a name from a cup, whichever name they chose they got to pick the outfit for that person from goodwill under $10 and then they had to wear it while we went bowling. I was hoping they’d stuff me in a wedding gown similar to Miss Havisham’s from great expectations but what they chose was even better! Shoulder pads for days.

Tip #2 Be willing to leave your comfort zone. This one is tough. We’ve created a bubble where staying in and watching Netflix in our jammies, while eating slim Jim’s is the new norm. Come on folks, watching other people live their lives is no adventure. Get off the couch, dust that powdered sugar off your shirt and do something! I have an idea, go outside right now, grab the garden hose and spray your self in the face… did that wake you up? Pull you out of zombie mode? Cool. Now pull up your events page on Facebook. Click the this weekend button and choose something weird, something you wouldn’t normally do. Do it.

Tip #3 Enhance your social circle. Find friends that are extroverts and cling to them, these are the ones who will be down for anything spontaneous. Also, find friends who are introverts, these ones will have the cool ideas for what your doing next. Yes those quiet people who keep to themselves, they have the best personalities once you break down their wall and take them hostage as your friend (that’s pretty much the only way to establish friendship with them in my experience). Get you a Jew too. Jews are frickin awesome. Your social circle is going to be a big part in this adventure.

Tip #4 Have you a baby. Okay this one may not be for everyone, but man is that an adventure all on its own. If you can’t have kids or are waiting until a later time, get you a pet. Like a goat, goat yoga is a thing now. This creates a bond between another soul in this life that is unique. It’s unlike the friendships you share, this relationship will be one where you give everything you’ve got and not expect a thing in return. This is a humbling adventure, one where you’ll discover a different side of yourself that you didn’t know existed.

I’m off to my next adventure, take these words to heart and get out there to create your own!

The losing battle of the single mom

Restraining kids to their beds isn’t an option is it?  I need advice on how to keep my 4 year old from leaving her bed at night that also allows me to achieve a sane number of sleeping hours.  I told her that she could no longer sleep in her older sisters bed.  I want her to start sleeping in her own bed each night.  I spent an entire weekend painting and remodeling her room for her, I bought a bed, dresser, and a nightstand with a small tv.  The kid has it made, I slept in a sleeping bag my entire 2nd grade year and I didn’t have a dresser until I bought one when I was 18.  But does any of that matter? No.  She sneaks out of her room every night and crawls into her sisters bed.  I’ve tried to guard the door, I caught her twice last night but she is a night owl and always out last me!  I resulted to threats last night, I told her if I woke to find her in her sisters bed she would be punished.

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I woke up, went straight to her room, No Hailee?  Go to her sisters room look in bed, no Hailee?  Small heart attack, as I catch a glimpse of a small people on the floor.  It’s Hailee, sleeping in her sisters room on the floor.  I’m losing this fight.

Mixing pleasure with work 😏

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I’m supposed to be learning about the different structures of the skeletal system.  While taking pictures of each piece of bone to study later at home I took the most epic photo of this Mandible.  I’ve always loved photography and now I want to go around taking beautiful pictures of every piece of bone in class!  Well I’ve got to go back to work, tally ho!

The social life of a single mom

img_2006I get two weekends out of the month to myself while my kids go to their dads.  Thankfully I have a pool full of friends to hang out with during me time.  This weekend I’ll be with my pals Jacob and Colton.  They are pretty much the coolest guys you could ever meet!  However that also means I have to clean my house… I don’t realize how crazy of a mess my house gets until I decide to have company over.  I need some quick clean up tips… I’m too exhausted to actually have this social life thing going on.

img_3354         On top of trying to get my house clean I’m running around like a chicken with its head chopped off after my children.  This morning 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave the house for school my 10 year old daughter comes to ask me if she can wear something different.  I asked why and she says, “Well because today is 50s day and I’ve signed up for a sock hop”. So panic mode set in and I ripped through her closet like a maniac trying to piece something together last minuteimg_3355

For a last minute outfit, I’m pretty impressed with my bad self… feeling like supermom at the moment but I’m sure when they come home this afternoon I’ll be brought back down off my high horse during some everyday fiasco.  But for now I’ll live in the moment and applaud my small successes!

Secret Hideout

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My Secret Hideout

Growing up on 100 acres of land I had this special spot. My siblings and I discovered what would become our playground, safe haven, and above all our secret hideout. While playing outside one afternoon, we invaded the woods that edged the top of a hill. The area overlooked about 20 acres, including our home and the road we lived off. There was a tree that had been struck by lightening, giving it this bent shape which was perfect for sitting. My brothers sat atop this tree as the lookouts and spy’s while I decided to clean our new “home” by gathering fallen leaves and branches. As I swept the leaves together with my hands I noticed something sparkle. I moved more leaves to get a closer look, it was GOLD!!! Or so I thought at the time, turns out I found glittery gravel that people used back in the day for driveways. I alerted the lookouts and we quickly became treasure hunters for the day, whipping off our socks to shove the best looking rocks into them and smuggle them home for safe keeping in our underwear drawer. This place quickly became our new favorite place that we titled The Golden Rocks. It’s been 20 years and I still find myself wanting to runaway to hide, be alone, and think at my secret hideout. I’m a 28 year old single mother of 3, working full time while going to school full time… who wouldn’t want to run away? Writing down my trials, feelings, and experiences seems to be the best escape I’ve discovered so far, I figured the best way to get feedback and give out advice would be to create a blog. So here I have it my online Golden Rocks 😄.